It was Doomed from the Start

As many of you from Twitter know, yesterday I was in Oklahoma for work. While the presentation went well, the trip was filled with landmines, many of which I barely escaped. I'll explain. I arrive in Oklahoma City on Wednesday and head to the car rental company to pick up my vehicle. The woman at the desk informs me that all they have left is a Mercury Marquis. Ok. Sweet. I'll be driving my grandpa's car, I think to myself. I head out to the car, load up, get out my Google Map direction