Alcoholic Patent Pending

So I was bouncing around downtown this morning, like I do, all yuppified with Sketchers and Starbucks, when two homeless looking gentlemen accosted me outside a liquor store. “Hey man, we ain’t gonna lie. We got the shakes. You got any change?” I had to admire their honesty. They wanted booze, and by god, who am I to deny anyone a healthy dose of alcoholic pleasure? Except I never have change. Does anyone? In a debited, credited, sanitized electronic world, there is almost no reason to carry