Barack Obama dumps Scarlett Johansson! Denies an e-mail relationship

Let's just state right up front that if Scarlett Johansson was chattering publicly to even one person, let alone a media crowd, that we had any kind of relationship, The Ticket would in a nano-heartbeat confirm totally whatever she said. She'd be dead-on in our minds, indubitably. That's partly why we were so down -- well, devastated really -- a couple of weeks ago when The Ticket learned and wrote that Scarlett -- we call her that because we've never actually met -- was talking publicly about